The Elephant In the Room

It's a forbidden topic.

The elephant in the room.

The one thing we must all pretend isn't the way it is.

But today, I'm letting the cat out of the bag.

I'll lose friends and family over this, but it's time to be honest. I can't live this lie anymore.

Women can be messier than men when it comes to restrooms.

There, I said it. Gather your stones, ladies.

I work in a predominately female office. We have shared restrooms. This has opened my eyes in scary new ways.

A dainty little lady will walk out of the restroom. I will walk in. The smoke monster from LOST will hit me in the face.

I walk out. The same dainty little lady will wrinkle her nose and give me a "You're such a disgusting man-beast" look.

But we both know better. I'm just the scapegoat.

So I've learned. I spray the air freshener and clean the seat I didn't pee on just so you ladies won't get snooty with me.

You win.

Tell me I'm wrong. I dare you. Even my wife agrees with me!

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