Things I'm Not Above Doing to Get Out of Corporate Audit Training

I'm a network administrator.

However, I work for an accounting firm. This means we have mandatory annual firmwide training.

We don't have the budget to give me any IT training, but we sure do have enough cents to put me through audit training. Here's a few things I'm not above doing in order to get out of it next time:

• Fake a heart attack
• Kill the network
• Volunteer for jury duty
• Commit a misdemeanor. Know anything that'll get you just one day in jail?
• Create an on-the-job injury. If I jump off the fifth floor, it'll end my misery permanently. The second floor? Probably just a broken leg.

What would you do to get out of audit training?
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