Funny Things My Dad Says

My dad is the best man I know.

He's my example for how to walk with God, be a good husband and raise your kids right.

He also has a knack for saying unintentionally funny things.

One time we walked into Home Depot. Dad walked up to the first employee he saw, a woman, and asked, "Which end is your plumbing on?" Mom and I walked away quickly, choking back laughter.

He's also got a habit of pronouncing certain words incorrectly, or Canadian-ly, as the case may be.

He's not 'sorry' about something, he's 'sorey'.

He doesn't want you to 'wait' for him. He wants you to 'waint'.

He doesn't look at our family photo 'albums'. He looks at our 'alblums'.

He doesn't want 'onions' on his pizza, he wants 'ungyuns'.

But as much as I give him a hard time for his word usage, I still want to be like him. If I can be half the man my dad is, I'll consider myself a success.

I just hope the language skills don't catch on.

What? Hold on, Honey. I'm blogging. I know you want me to put that funny picture in the photo alblum of me crying while cutting the ungyuns, but you'll have to waint. Sorey!


What funny things do your folks say?
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Comments (30)

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They would say "If you keep making that face, it's gonna freeze like that." I guess I should have listened. Now my only career outlet is the circus sideshow. Alas.
2 replies · active 712 weeks ago
My father (affectionately known in stories as Ol' Steve) is notorious for saying really stupid things when he gets frustrated. Once, years ago, he got angry at my brother Anthony and said, "Oh....GROW UP AND CHANGE"

We've been giving each other that advice ever since.
4 replies · active 712 weeks ago
My dad's classic disagreement block was, "Oh, your butt's twisted - you're not going to that party." A rare blend of eloquence and discernment....
2 replies · active 712 weeks ago
My dad pronounces Hawaii like the locals do. He sounds ridiculous. We're constantly trying to trick him into saying it so we can laugh at him.
1 reply · active 712 weeks ago
I think your Dad and I would get along famously. I was born in Canada - and although I think I've lost ALL my accent - my dear son-in-law insists that I still say SOREY too. I don't - but he insists. My parents however are native Canadians and they REALLY do say it!
2 replies · active 712 weeks ago
My dad called a chimney for our fireplace the "chimley"... he also referred to his garage as "the shop", but I guess that makes sense since it was kind of a machine shop.
1 reply · active 712 weeks ago
Your mummy's oldest's avatar

Your mummy's oldest · 712 weeks ago

Waint right there... How many spelling tests did you bomb misspelling that word? I even tried it wain't and still got it wrong. At least he dropped the "Is your mummy there?" and "How have you bean?"
1 reply · active 712 weeks ago
At a restaurant with my family, the waitress apologized for having to lean over to serve us. My mom replied and we all swore she that said "Sorry, the boobs are awkward."

She meant "booths".
1 reply · active 712 weeks ago
The Home Depot story made me laugh litterally out loud. For my family it's not what they say it's what they do. My mom has a way of doing really funny things. She has her doctorate and is a college prof but yet she does things like try to fill up the car with gas because she thought it was empty. It was full. When the gas sprayed everywhere she thought the machine was broken. We had to tell her that the car was full of gas.
1 reply · active 712 weeks ago
My mom pronounces breakfast as brakefast. It makes me cringe every time she says it.
1 reply · active 712 weeks ago
HEY. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH TALKING LIKE A CANADIAN.

Ahem. Sorey for yelling.

My dad doesn't finish sentences or include nouns. "We want to go to the thing and" is literally a full sentence for him. He gets upset when we don't understand him.

My sister-in-law is the word butcherer in our family. Her parents are from Argentina so she says a handful of words with an accent. After is off-ter, cantaloupe is cant-a-loop, yogurt is YAWgurt, garage is gay-raj and she calls bulletin boards pinchy boards. Brutal.
1 reply · active 712 weeks ago
Also my grandma pronounces beautiful "bee-you-tea-full". Makes my eye twitch.
1 reply · active 712 weeks ago

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