Then he decided to finish school. We haven't seen Jared in a while.
Today is his last day of college. We're going to finally get him back!
I thought we should give him a commencement speech in honor of his accomplishment.
Jared, here's a few things to remember:
- You won't need most of what you just learned. College is a game where you get rewarded for putting up with crap. It tells future employers you have some stick-to-it-iveness.
- You won't miss school for one second after today.
- But you'll be glad you did it.
- You can't cut class anymore, because it's called work now and they'll fire your butt.
- Work pays better than school.
- You think you'll have more time now that school's done, but in reality you'll just fill it with other things.
- Remember all your school buddies? No? Good, you've saved yourself some time.
- You won't give a flip about any reunions.
- Try not to get a big head about it - no one's going to ask you for your autograph
- Can I have your autograph?
What else should Jared know about being done with school?
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3 comments:
In a million years, you won't believe how useless 90% of the classes were. This is coming from a guy who majored in English. I now sell and print t-shirts.
Not a lot of customers interested in discussing Chaucer.
Thanks a ton for the advice! I actually plan on posting my own commencement speech this week. Which will begin my blogging come back. Like Michael Jordan in baseball.
I don't miss school work but I miss the school schedule. Most college kids take 3 classes a day, a long nap, play some frisbee, eat a lot, and then get rewarded with summers off. It's the life.
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