What If?

Every day it seems I read another impossible-to-imagine headline.

"NY Governor Delays Payments to Conserve Cash"

"Real Estate Broker Swindles Investors Out of $98M, Seeks Bankruptcy Protection"

"President Signs Health Care Bill, Approving $1.2T Additional Debt"

Apparently you can just do whatever you want these days.  If you can dream it, you can do it.

I've always heard of this mythical "American Dream".  So I got to wondering - what if I could do this?

The New York Times might run these headlines:

"Ricky Delays Mortgage Payments to Conserve Cash"

Mortgage company applauds conservation tactic, says efforts at increasing green responsibilities are noteworthy.

"Ricky Prints His Own Money"

Declares "There really oughta be a $25 bill with Lou Gherig on it."

"Ricky Signs Health Care Bill, Approving $1.2T Additional Debt"

Says, "Whatever.  I don't have to pay for it.  Some other schmuck will."


What impossible headlines would you write?