Office Coffee Etiquette

You're tired.  You're running late.  You throw your stuff down at your desk, grab your coffee mug and head to the break room.

You add some Splenda and non-dairy cream to your cup, and move in to the coffee pot.  If yours is like ours, it's a vacuum-sealed thermos.  You position your mug below the spout and use your last bit of energy pushing down the handle.

*thhhhhissssss*

Your heart sinks as you realize you're the last schmuck to the coffee party.

I hate empty coffee pots.  The disappointment, the shattered hopes and dreams.  Coffee pots are meant to be full of joy, promise, and coffee.

Here's a few ground rules on the office morning coffee routine:

1.  If you take the last cup, make another pot.  No exceptions.  I don't care how busy you are.  If you leave me an empty pot, you're a jerk.

1a.  Exception - if you made the original pot yourself, you've fulfilled your coffee duty for the morning.
1b.  I know I said no exceptions, but I did this earlier today, so I had to add the exception to keep myself from being a jerk.  Hey, I was busy.

2.  If you're making a fresh pot, empty and rinse the pot before brewing.  I thought this would go without saying, but you should meet some of my coworkers.  Nasty people.

2a.  Okay, this may have been me again.  I'm sorry.

3.  If you start brewing a pot, don't walk away in impatience.  You'll forget, and we'll be left with fresh cold coffee.  Sit it out and put the thermos lid back on when you're done.  We'll thank you later by not throwing staplers at you.

3a.  I know, I know.  I'm the worst one at this.  Guilty, Your Honor.

4.  If you're getting a cup for yourself, bring one for Kay as well.  Kay is our receptionist.  She's an angel, and she deserves it.

4a.  Guilty again.

Did I miss anything?


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