Home Aloan

I've griped about the home loan industry before, but today I'm going to up the ante:

I'll tell you about the worst home loan officer in the world.

This is a deep, dark secret of mine.  I'm not proud of it.  I wish I could take it back, but I can't.

I used to be a loan officer.

The worst one in the world, in fact.

I was in college at the time, and had no idea what I was doing.  I would make cold calls to folks with 10% interest rates, and get hung up on while telling them about the 5% rate I wanted to refinance them into.  I could literally free up enough money for these folks to buy another house, yet I couldn't close the deal.  To me, no meant no.

My boss, Dave, was the exact opposite.  He would say, "They don't mean no.  They mean not right now.  Big difference."  Dave was the ultimate schmoozer.

He asked for a phone number off my list of rejections.  He dialed it while on speaker phone so I could watch the master.  He got a guy in a grocery store, pushing his screaming kids down the cereal aisle*.

Three minutes later, my boss had completed the application with him and arranged a follow-up appointment.  This guy was good.

I was so bad at this job, that I just started fixing the other loan officers' computers instead of making cold calls.  This was short-lived however, because my pay was 100% commission-based.  I lasted three whole months before I threw in the towel.

I did close one loan, though.

I love my in-laws!

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* He was probably pushing them in a cart.  Either way, they deserved to be pushed - they were obnoxious.