Of Mouse and Man

Some users are more clueless than others.  They're the recurring callers; the ones who are always stymied by the simplest of error messages.

When you help them, they're not always with the program.

Here's a classic example...

==

Special User:  How do I open a file?


Me:  Double-click it.


Special User:  I did, and nothing happened.  Come look.


Me:  Ok, show me.


Special User:  *Right clicks on a file twice*  See?  Just that silly pop-up menu.


Me:  Double-click with the left mouse button.


Special User:  *Right clicks on the file twice*  Still doesn't work!


Me:  The other button.


Special User:  *Right clicks on the file twice*  Nope!


Me:  Your other left mouse button.  There's only two.  Use the one on the left.  The one closest to your keyboard.


Special User:  *Right clicks on the file twice*  Why won't this work?  I'm doing it right!


Me:  Yes, you're doing it with the right mouse button, which is incorrect.  Try this one.  *Touches the correct button*


Special User:  *Right clicks on the file twice*  I hate computers!


Me:  No, you don't.  Try this one.  *Touches it again*


Special User:  Oh, the left one!  *Left clicks on the file twice*  Ok, you fixed it!


Me:  Glad to help!  *Walks away mumbling* *Right eye twitches*